is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
