On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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