Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
