i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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