She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
