Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We're too hungover to prance.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
