I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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