it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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