I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
