Cold hands, warm shart.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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