i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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