as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
