His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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