Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
