and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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