im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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