why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
