im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
