we're chasing vodka with high fives
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
