You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
