its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
