I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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