i may or may not be watching the land before time
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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