If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
