do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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