I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
