I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
third nipple confirmed
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
