Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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