from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
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The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
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I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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