One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
