brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
