You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
