She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
