sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
