Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
