Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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