it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
