probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
