You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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