Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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