I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
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I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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