He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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