Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
