I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
where does the pee come out of this thing
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
