Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
