I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
