quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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