I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
