So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
