Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
