Me. At least after what I've been through.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize