CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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