the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize