We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
