Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
