I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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