trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
