Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
