Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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