Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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