I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
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just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
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Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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