My friends, they love my intelligence
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
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