Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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