I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
