I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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