Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
